Hors D'oeuvres Format

The New Amsterdam Exterior Portable Dining Society (NAEPDS) often recommends a food protocol for certain events and occasions known as Hors D'oeuvres Format, sometimes abbreviated as Like Hors.

GUIDELINES

Presentation is Paramount

It matters less that your fare is delicious than that it is beautiful. And anyway, at the NAEPDS we have discovered that any food tastes better when it looks pretty. Also, our research indicates that food is more likely to be eaten if is presented, rather than just present. If you bring a bag of baby carrots and leave it unopened in a pile, you will probably be taking home 9/10 of a bag of carrots with a small hole torn in it. Or worse: throwing it away. Open the bag, put them on a plate, Somebody will eat them if only because it's easy.

Make It Bite-Sized

Hors d'oeuvres can be practically any food, prepared into units that can be eaten in 1 bite. Generally this will be not more than 1-inch cubed (2.5 cm). Large portions are much less likely to be tried--they are perhaps too much of a commitment or guilty indulgence; and they too often go to waste.

Make It Finger-Friendly

We advise items that either inherently, or can be prepared and presented in such a way that utensils are not needed. For parsimony! Because if, say, you bring soup, you must also bring soup spoons enough for everyone who might want to just taste the soup, bowls to serve in, and probably a whole lot of napkins for the mess that somebody with two left hands is bound to make. Also if you bring mostly things that won't grease-up fingers and smear on clothes, we'll love you forever.

6±2 is the Magic Number

When bringing something to share, the NAEPDS recommends a quantity enough for around 6 people. We caution against trying to cater to the entire group; you will invariably end up with too much left over, which will then

be your responsibility to clean up/pack out. Typically at an NAEPDS occasion, you are not feeding people, you are only amusing their bouches; nobody comes to such events because they need a square meal.

The Noto Photo Protocol

The NoPhoPro is a quasi-formalized method of getting a good group photo of a large number of individuals where there is no central authority (or poor recognition thereof,) not everyone is in the know, and there is perhaps little cohesion. It was developed by the Ungisphere Department of Counter-Ennui for the Ungisphere, where not everyone knows each other, nor who is HNIC, and are a lot of fiercely independent New Yorkers who hate being told what to do. It is named after long-time Ungisphere captain David Noto because... it rhymes.

OUTLINE:
1. Initiate by saying "Class Photo." This is a specific and iconic code word of sorts that signals to people who know what to do that it has begun.

2. People who are down with No.P.P. ("seeders") then gather in a group photo formation. The goal is 1 - 4 rows of people, depending on group size, with the front row sitting or reclining, the next row back squatting or kneeling, then standing, then--if applicable--standing on something (or just very tall.) Seeders should start with the standing row and squatting/kneeling row.

3. The person operating the camera ("cam-op") begins taking (or pretending to take) photos. Typically just the sight of this is enough to prompt other people--who may not be aware of the protocol--("others") to glom on to the group; a snowballing effect. Seeders assist by inviting people into the formation. A cam-op should always take several photos, even if everyone is cooperating and frozen in a good pose.

4. A persuasive or bossy person ("director") will then begin adjusting people to pretty up the shot. Director and cam-op can be (and usually is) the same person. This involves, where possible, any or all of: arranging people by height (and importance,) shifting for symmetry, balancing out rows, repositioning to fit and fill the photo frame. Seeders assist by eagerly moving as directed and persuasively encouraging others to do the same.

5. Signal to end and break up (by director): "Class dismissed."

Dressage

Ze Feuer Fellowes Follies event: Dressage.
Competition of sartorial excellence and creativity. Essentially "Best Dressed" judged based on stylishness, embodiment of the theme, authenticity or hyper-reality, etc.

The Pick-Up Line

Ze Feuer Fellowes Follies event: The Pick-Up Line.
A contest of strength, endurance, and virility in which challengers lift as many lovely young ladies (or gentlemen) standing in a row as they can, as quickly as they can, and with the most panache.

Andy Golub at the Ungisphere

The Ungisphere is the code-/brand name for the territory and people arranged by my friends Ungie, Loren, and others at the Bryant Park Monday movie (details here: http://saomsdangledthreads.blogspot.com/2010/07/ungisphere.html.) With its ample space, and central location in an extremely high-traffic environment with an effectively captive audience, it makes for a rather good spot for public performance art.
To amuse ourselves during the 4-hour squat, as well as the crowd, (and or "gods",) we invited Andy Golub to perform one of his signature live public nude full body paintings at the Ungisphere. It went down a little something like this:

(Simulation of the) (Conjectured) Reactions of the (Adults in the) Crowd

This man, who--were he an actor--would be intractably typecast as a cop, began to approach when the nipples came out. He stopped about 20 yards out, and upon completion of his phone call, left, never to be seen again.

Click click clickety-clickety-click click

Art Preservation

Since 2007 the Ungisphere has employed Cactus Pete as its beacon; a visual aide to help people arriving later to find the territory. Over the years the consistency, uniqueness, and utility by not only the Ungisphericans, but also the other groups nearby have made Cactus Pete something of an icon amongst Bryant Park moviegoers, event staff, and the many reporters, photographers, and publicity seekers in the orbit of this event. Other regulars, who don't know the internal names Ungisphere or Lorangeland, often refer to the the group as the Cactus Crew.

Without prior discussion or suggestion, the design Golub created derived from and expanded on the iconography of Cactus Pete. By all accounts, a stroke of genius!

Scandalized kids. ... Quote-unquote.

Dork-Out With Yer Pork Out

Fellowes Fauxlo

Ze Feuer Fellowes Follies event: Fellowes Fauxlo.
An impressionist version of the Sport of Kings.

You get the idea...

Trampompaline Chez Monahan

KenMo happens to have a large empty living room and 13-foot ceilings, and we have a Roving Trampompaline... of Doooom! At the intersection of these two facts, this happens:

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