Hors D'oeuvres Format

The New Amsterdam Exterior Portable Dining Society (NAEPDS) often recommends a food protocol for certain events and occasions known as Hors D'oeuvres Format, sometimes abbreviated as Like Hors.

GUIDELINES

Presentation is Paramount

It matters less that your fare is delicious than that it is beautiful. And anyway, at the NAEPDS we have discovered that any food tastes better when it looks pretty. Also, our research indicates that food is more likely to be eaten if is presented, rather than just present. If you bring a bag of baby carrots and leave it unopened in a pile, you will probably be taking home 9/10 of a bag of carrots with a small hole torn in it. Or worse: throwing it away. Open the bag, put them on a plate, Somebody will eat them if only because it's easy.

Make It Bite-Sized

Hors d'oeuvres can be practically any food, prepared into units that can be eaten in 1 bite. Generally this will be not more than 1-inch cubed (2.5 cm). Large portions are much less likely to be tried--they are perhaps too much of a commitment or guilty indulgence; and they too often go to waste.

Make It Finger-Friendly

We advise items that either inherently, or can be prepared and presented in such a way that utensils are not needed. For parsimony! Because if, say, you bring soup, you must also bring soup spoons enough for everyone who might want to just taste the soup, bowls to serve in, and probably a whole lot of napkins for the mess that somebody with two left hands is bound to make. Also if you bring mostly things that won't grease-up fingers and smear on clothes, we'll love you forever.

6±2 is the Magic Number

When bringing something to share, the NAEPDS recommends a quantity enough for around 6 people. We caution against trying to cater to the entire group; you will invariably end up with too much left over, which will then

be your responsibility to clean up/pack out. Typically at an NAEPDS occasion, you are not feeding people, you are only amusing their bouches; nobody comes to such events because they need a square meal.

The Noto Photo Protocol

The NoPhoPro is a quasi-formalized method of getting a good group photo of a large number of individuals where there is no central authority (or poor recognition thereof,) not everyone is in the know, and there is perhaps little cohesion. It was developed by the Ungisphere Department of Counter-Ennui for the Ungisphere, where not everyone knows each other, nor who is HNIC, and are a lot of fiercely independent New Yorkers who hate being told what to do. It is named after long-time Ungisphere captain David Noto because... it rhymes.

OUTLINE:
1. Initiate by saying "Class Photo." This is a specific and iconic code word of sorts that signals to people who know what to do that it has begun.

2. People who are down with No.P.P. ("seeders") then gather in a group photo formation. The goal is 1 - 4 rows of people, depending on group size, with the front row sitting or reclining, the next row back squatting or kneeling, then standing, then--if applicable--standing on something (or just very tall.) Seeders should start with the standing row and squatting/kneeling row.

3. The person operating the camera ("cam-op") begins taking (or pretending to take) photos. Typically just the sight of this is enough to prompt other people--who may not be aware of the protocol--("others") to glom on to the group; a snowballing effect. Seeders assist by inviting people into the formation. A cam-op should always take several photos, even if everyone is cooperating and frozen in a good pose.

4. A persuasive or bossy person ("director") will then begin adjusting people to pretty up the shot. Director and cam-op can be (and usually is) the same person. This involves, where possible, any or all of: arranging people by height (and importance,) shifting for symmetry, balancing out rows, repositioning to fit and fill the photo frame. Seeders assist by eagerly moving as directed and persuasively encouraging others to do the same.

5. Signal to end and break up (by director): "Class dismissed."

RToD - Black Cherokee

Black Cherokee (Otis Houston Jr. Also sometimes known colloquially as The Homeless Artist) is a NYC-based performance artist best known for regularly standing by the side of the South-bound FDR Drive under the RFK-Triboro Bridge ramps in odd poses, usually involving pieces of fruit; and for the makeshift placards bearing his statements, questions, etc that he sets up in that area for the entertainment and edification of people driving by.

The guerrilla roving team roved the RToD to his customary site in the hopes that he would incorporate it into his performance.

 

The Guerrillegatta - Primer

On a particular weekend day in the late Spring or Summer an unsanctioned, rogue boat "race" is held by self-selected participants using the rental rowboats on Central Park Lake.

While there is an objective, some rules, a course, and participants do compete in contests of rowing prowess, the "race" is mostly symbolic, lasting only around 20 minutes and is neither officiated, nor considered particularly seriously. The majority of the event consists of the pageantry of the competing teams and the collective picnic and socializing that follows. After the "race" the boaters will lash the boats together into a flotilla of sorts and spend the rest of the afternoon enjoying the various food and drink they have brought with them and each other's company on the Lake.

Participants will self-organize into teams of 2 to 4. Each team is expected to have a
theme, and dress, accessorize, adorn their boat, and behave according to theme.

If a team can not be assembled, or a theme can not be instituted, it is recommended for those who wish to participate none-the-less to dress and act how they imagine one typically would to attend a regular or famous regatta. For example the Henley Regatta dress code, or derivative thereof.

It is preferred that participants bring food and drink that befits the occasion of a regatta, and to share with everyone. Coordinated Crowdsource Protocol is usually used to supply the comestibles.

Dork-Out With Yer Pork Out

Karrie's OK